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120 Most Upvoted Chuck Norris Jokes [All-Time Leaderboard]

Chuck Norris is a well-known American martial artist and actor. He has become a culture icon due to his tough-guy persona and impressive martial arts skills. The reason people make jokes about Chuck Norris is because of his larger-than-life image and the exaggerated stories that have been spread about him. On this page, you will find the best Chuck Norris jokes and memes. These jokes can be very funny because Chuck Norris already has a famous reputation for his personality and… invincibility. Let’s get warmed up with a few jokes and memes before looking at our all-time leaderboard of the best Chuck Norris jokes.

Funniest Chuck Norris Jokes and Memes

Before we look at the all-time jokes leaderboard, let’s laugh with memes featuring some of the best jokes:

Chuck Norris looking at the sun joke

Champions are breakfast for Chuck Norris.

chuck norris birth joke

Chuck Norris’ calendar skips April 1st because nobody fools Chuck Norris.

Some children pee their names in the snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name onto concrete.

Chuck Norris diary joke

Chuck Norris is so talented that he can wheelie on a unicycle.

the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

Related post: view the funniest Chuck Norris Memes.

Chuck Norris doesn’t cry. He makes onions cry instead.

joke about chuck norris and will smith
chuck norris knows a well hidden secret
parachute joke about chuck norris

Let’s now have a look at the all-time leaderboard of the most upvoted Chuck Norris jokes!

All-Time Most Upvoted Chuck Norris Jokes [Leaderboard]

Now that you’re a bit warmed up, let’s look at the all-time leaderboard… and make sure you upvote your favorite Chuck Norris jokes (No account is required to upvote):

Push your idea0/2000

A few more hilarious Chuck Norris Memes and Jokes

norris played in star wars joke

If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, google “list of extinct species”.

Aliens are real, but we can’t see them because Chuck Norris scares them.

When Chuck Norris looked into the abyss, the abyss looked away.

Chuck Norris stared at the sun. The sun ran away.

Related post: view the funniest Chuck Norris Memes.

Chuck Norris demolished the periodic table because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris doesn’t open doors. Doors open for him.

Chuck Norris sneezing with eyes open joke

Chuck Norris sets ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

The sun needs to wear sunglasses when Chuck Norris looks at it.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals that Chuck Norris allows to survive.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero. Why? Because he’s Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris dividing by zero because he can

Chuck Norris counts to infinity every single day.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits for you to wake up.

Chuck Norris unscrambles eggs.

extinct species Chuck Norris joke

Simon Says? Not anymore. Now it’s Chuck Says.

boogeyman going to sleep after checking for CN under the bed

If it looks like tofu and tastes like tofu, but Chuck Norris says it’s chicken, then it is chicken.

When Chuck Norris eats at restaurants, waiters tip him.

When an advertisement pops up on the internet, Chuck Norris is the adblocker.

When police officers tried to arrest Chuck Norris one time, they said “we have the right to remain silent”, and turned around.

The Swiss Army uses Chuck Norris Knives.

Chuck Norris can speak Braille and hear sign language.

Chuck Norris didn’t dial the wrong number, it’s the person on the other line who picked up the wrong phone.

Chuck Norris played the Russian roulette one day with a fully loaded pistol. He still won.

Chuck Norris’ email address is [email protected]

Chuck Norris’ GPS never tells him to turn around. He goes wherever he wants.

Chuck Norris goes bowling with a marble. He scored 300.

When Chuck Norris was a baby he farted, now it’s known as the ‘Big Bang’.

Chuck Norris once wrestled a bear, an alligator, and a tiger all at once. He won.

A rainbow happens every time Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks Richard Simmons.

Chuck Norris doesn’t pay taxes, taxes pay Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father did.

Chuck Norris never needs to flush the toilet. He always scares the crap out of it.

Chuck Norris makes a lot of money selling his urine, it is called Monster drinks.

burger king Chuck Norris joke

Chuck Norris built the hospital where he was born in.

Chuck Norris starts fires with extinguishers.

Chuck Norris doesn’t take out the trash. The trash takes itself when it sees Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris has to carry a concealed weapons permit when he’s seen in public.

joke about chuck norris visiting islands

When Chuck Norris falls from a great height, the ground knows the end is near.

Chuck Norris played a game of rock, paper scissors against his reflection, and won.

When Chuck Norris went to Burger King and ordered a big mac, they made it for him, perfectly.

Chuck Norris knows how to mine Bitcoin with a pen and paper.

Chuck Norris was only wrong one time. When he believed he had made a mistake.

Chuck Norris was born May 6th, 1945. The Nazis surrendered on May 7th, 1945. Chuck Norris ended World War 2.

Chuck Norris doesn’t go to the gym, instead, he goes shoplifting.

Chuck Norris dueled the Earth in a race around the sun. Chuck Norris won by ten years.

Chuck Norris once had to fire someone. And this is how hell was invented.

Chuck Norris doesn’t look both ways when crossing the road. Cars look both ways instead.

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed a dozen men. And then the grenade blew-up.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup. It’s a 10.0 earthquake.

joke about Chuck Norris squeezing lemons to get organce juice

The dinosaurs once tried to bite Chuck Norris. You already know what happened to them.

Chuck Norris had a staring competition with the sun. He won.

Chuck Norris can wear a fanny pack… and all other men will look like senior tourists.

Chuck Norris once spun a blue marble on his finger, now humans live on it and it’s called the “Earth.”

Chuck Norris doesn’t climb trees, he just pushes them over and walks on them.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

They built the Great Wall of China to stop Chuck Norris from coming in. Sadly, it didn’t work.

stopping Chuck Norris doesn't work wiht the wall of china

Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Where’s Waldo? Hiding from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris drives a bulletproof car. That’s because the car wanted additional protection.

Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.

Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.

Chuck Norris once won a deep-water diving contest. Against a dolphin.

Chuck Norris can sit in the corner of a round room.

When Chuck Norris squeezes lemons, he gets orange juice.

Chuck Norris’ cowboy boots are manufactured with real cowboys.

That’s it! We hope you liked our Chuck Norris jokes. If you enjoy Chuck Norris jokes, you might also enjoy other types of jokes:

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