Included below are more than 40 of the highest-rated military jokes and memes. These jokes have received exceptional feedback on social media and could be funny to you as well. Take a look below as you begin to read some of the best military jokes that are currently circulating around the internet.
Best Military Jokes
What is a military officer who goes to the bathroom often? A Loo-tenant
What do hungry Marines eat? SUB sandwiches!
What day could replace World Military Day? March Forth!
What do you call a group of children who enters the military? The Infant-ry!
What do you call a troop that survived pepper spray and mustard gas? A seasoned veteran!
Why does the military have a strict dress code for events? Civilian casual tees are not acceptable.
Why do optometrists set their clocks to military time? They want their clients to see 20:20!
What can you call someone who joined the military out of spite? A petty officer!
Why didn’t a member of the military want to admit his rank to his friends? Because it was Private.
Which month of the year do soldiers hate the most? March.
What does ARMY mean to you? “A Recruiter Misled You”
Why did a soldier bring a blanket to the battlefield? Because he wanted cover!
Why aren’t there any bugs or insects in an Army base? Because it’s a ‘no-fly’ zone.
What grades do you need to get to join the Navy? At least seven C’s.
What’s the difference between a special forces member of the Navy and an otter? One is a Seal, and the other is still an otter!
Even though his daughter got an A in mathematics, why was the Admiral extremely angry? Because she spent less time on conquering and too much time on dividing!
Why was the major angry when the owl decided to take a leave without informing the authorities? Because the owl went awol!
What usually happens to any soldier who visits an enemy pub to do his stand-up comedy? The soldier ends up bombing!
What is the best way to describe a soldier who goes to work in the midst of a game? A deployment!
How would you describe a soldier who always makes you stay with them? You call him a company commander!
What happened to the navy officer who went to see a mind reader? Apparently, there was no charge!
What do military soldiers watch on television in their spare time? LMTVs.
Why are soldiers buried 10 feet underground after they die? Because they are all great people deep down!
What’s the best phrase to describe the best military personnel? They are the majors!
What do you call a soldier who saves important things? The reserves!
What do you call a soldier’s newborn who was born on a fighter jet? You call the baby airborne!
What do you say if an unknown army ranger tries to strike up a conversation with you? Ranger Danger
What is the ideal way to call a military soldier who has a couple of tours under his belt and can take very good care of animals? A Vet.
Where do members of the military buy their shoes? Boot camp!
What’s the best way to refer to a military private who completely exposed his position to the enemy? He’s a public now.
How can you refer to the officer who commands a regiment of the star force? A stargent!
What is shared between a military veteran and a professional volleyball player? They both know how to serve!
What does a military soldier usually do if he has to go out to eat? He books reservations!
Why do the air force parachute manufacturers have the easiest jobs? Because even if their parachutes don’t work, the person who had been using them never complains!
What is the main difference between the training of the military and that of the boy scouts? The boy scouts usually have a lot of adult supervision!
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