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30 Most Upvoted Duck Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

duck in water
On Zoom my upper half is calm and professional while my lower half is in coffee-stained sweat pants desperately trying to go back to sleep

Second only to Hamsters, Ducks inspire many many jokes – not all of them good. As a matter of fact, some of them are real Drakes… (Dad Joke). Speaking of Dad (and Mom!) jokes, these quack-ups duck jokes are safe to share with your kids AND funny enough to be enjoyed at work.

Why are Ducks so popular? They are key players in maintaining our wetlands, helping with our food supply, and helping us get a good night’s sleep with better feather pillows! Plus, they are funny! Read on to see why.

We promise we will not use bad plays on words…. ok maybe just once:

duck joke meme about seducktion

Let’s get to our duck jokes leaderboard now:

Duck Jokes Leaderboard – the Most Upvoted Duck Jokes of All-Time

  • 51
    Wanna buy a talking duck?
    3 weeks agoReviewed
    Guy walks into a bar with a duck in a box- asks the bartender if he wants to buy a talking duck-the man takes the Duck out and sets it on the counter, the Duck starts pleading with the bartender, “Oh mister, mister PLEASE take me home with you!  This man beats me and starves me and never lets me see sunlight!” The bartender is amazed and asks the man, “Why are you selling this remarkable talking Duck?” The man answers, “Because I’m SICK OF HIS LIES!!!”
  • 40
    Wisdom of the Elders
    3 weeks agoReviewed
    My Grandpappy always said, “If it walks like a Duck, and talks like a Duck, it’s probably a man in a duck suit” Grandpappy sure liked his Moonshine!
  • 35
    Bar Jokes
    3 weeks agoReviewed
    Duck walks into a bar Asks, “Got any bread?” “No” “Got any bread?” “NO!” “Got any bread?” Bartender says “Look here-you ask me for bread one more time and I’m going to nail your bill to the bar!” “Got any nails?” “No” “Good, got any bread?”
  • 35
    Bar Jokes
    3 weeks agoReviewed
    Guy walks into a bar with a duck on his head Bartender says, “Excuse me Sir but you seem to have a Duck on your head?” Duck says, “I think you mean I have a human on my ass!”
  • 35
    Bar Jokes
    3 weeks agoReviewed
    A Duck wearing a tuxedo walks into a bar, orders a martini-shaken not stirred-the bartender asks his name the duck answers “Pond, James Pond”
  • 35
    Duck Migration
    3 weeks agoReviewed
    You know how a group of ducks flies in a V formation? Do you know WHY one row is always longer? More Ducks in that row.
  • 35
    Makes sense!
    3 weeks agoReviewed
    Why do Ducks fly South for the Winter? It’s too far to walk.
  • 35
    Help???
    3 weeks agoReviewed
    What has 8 sets of eyes, two enormous bills with fangs, 12 pairs of webbed feet with claws, and quacks like a Duck? I don’t know either I just found it in my garage and need HELP!
  • 35
    Makes sense!
    3 weeks agoReviewed
    What side of a Duck has the most feathers? The outside!
  • 34
    I tried to warn you!
    3 weeks agoReviewed
    Knock Knock Who’s there? Duck Duck who? DUCK! You are about to walk into a bar!
  • 32
    Got a ticket?
    3 weeks agoReviewed
    I’m going to see that new band tonight-it’s a cow and a duck They call themselves Cheese and Quackers!
  • 30
    Bar Jokes
    3 weeks agoReviewed
    Two Ducks walked into a bar You think the second one would have seen it!
  • 30
    Social Media Fowl
    3 weeks agoReviewed
    Do you think that teenage ducks make human faces when posing for pics?
  • 30
    Velcome to my pond!
    3 weeks agoReviewed
    What has wings, feathers and fangs? Count Duckula!
  • 30
    Social Media
    3 weeks agoReviewed
    Why don’t ducks need smartphones? The web is already at their feet!
  • 29
    The Arts
    3 weeks agoReviewed
    What is a Duck’s favorite Ballet? The Nutquacker!
  • 29
    The Arts
    3 weeks agoReviewed
    What is a Duck's Second Favorite Ballet? Swan Lake-- because they can dream can’t they?
  • 29
    Duck Bar jokes
    3 weeks agoReviewed
    Duck orders a pond water martini Bartender says, “That’ll be $8.00” Duck says “Just put it on my bill”
  • 28
    Teacher says...
    3 weeks agoReviewed
    Why do Ducks have tail feathers? To cover their butt quacks!
  • 28
    A clean get-a-way!
    3 weeks agoReviewed
    What steals your soap in the bathtub? A robber ducky!
  • 28
    light fuse and get away!
    3 weeks agoReviewed
    What do you call an exploding Duck? A Fire-Quacker! 
  • 25
    ETD?
    3 weeks agoReviewed
    What time do ducks start migrating? At the Quack of Dawn!
  • 25
    Trust me, I'm a ducktor!
    3 weeks agoReviewed
    What goes “Quick Quick”? A Duck with hiccups!
  • 25
    Duck Feathers!
    3 weeks agoReviewed
    Why do ducks never grow up? Because they grow down!
  • 24
    why indeed!
    3 weeks agoReviewed
    Why did the Duck cross the road? To prove they weren’t a chicken!
  • 24
    Stop the PUNishment!
    3 weeks agoReviewed
    I went to the new petting zoo and saw the goats standing according to height, the pigs wallowing according to size, but try as they might, they couldn’t get all their ducks in a row.
  • 23
    Fun! Fun! Fun!
    3 weeks agoReviewed
    What do Ducks love to play at the carnival? Quack-a-mole!
  • 20
    Veeeery punny!
    3 weeks agoReviewed
    Did you hear about the duck who accidentally fell into the sewer and had to swim out? He was ok but he smelled fowl.
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