Second only to Hamsters, Ducks inspire many many jokes – not all of them good. As a matter of fact, some of them are real Drakes… (Dad Joke). Speaking of Dad (and Mom!) jokes, these quack-ups duck jokes are safe to share with your kids AND funny enough to be enjoyed at work.
We’ve put together a leaderboard of the funniest – most upvoted – duck jokes. However, to get you warmed up, let’s start with a few funny duck memes:
Why are Ducks so popular? They are key players in maintaining our wetlands, helping with our food supply, and helping us get a good night’s sleep with better feather pillows! Plus, they are funny! Read on to see why.
We promise we will not use bad plays on words…. ok maybe just a few:
Let’s get to our duck jokes leaderboard now:
Duck Jokes Leaderboard – the Most Upvoted Duck Jokes of All-Time
- 51Wanna buy a talking duck?Read moreRead lessGuy walks into a bar with a duck in a box- asks the bartender if he wants to buy a talking duck-the man takes the Duck out and sets it on the counter, the Duck starts pleading with the bartender, “Oh mister, mister PLEASE take me home with you! This man beats me and starves me and never lets me see sunlight!” The bartender is amazed and asks the man, “Why are you selling this remarkable talking Duck?” The man answers, “Because I’m SICK OF HIS LIES!!!”
- 40Wisdom of the EldersRead moreRead lessMy Grandpappy always said, “If it walks like a Duck, and talks like a Duck, it’s probably a man in a duck suit” Grandpappy sure liked his Moonshine!
- 36Help???Read moreRead lessWhat has 8 sets of eyes, two enormous bills with fangs, 12 pairs of webbed feet with claws, and quacks like a Duck? I don’t know either I just found it in my garage and need HELP!
- 35Bar JokesRead moreRead lessDuck walks into a bar Asks, “Got any bread?” “No” “Got any bread?” “NO!” “Got any bread?” Bartender says “Look here-you ask me for bread one more time and I’m going to nail your bill to the bar!” “Got any nails?” “No” “Good, got any bread?”
- 35Bar JokesRead moreRead lessGuy walks into a bar with a duck on his head Bartender says, “Excuse me Sir but you seem to have a Duck on your head?” Duck says, “I think you mean I have a human on my ass!”
- 35Bar JokesRead moreRead lessA Duck wearing a tuxedo walks into a bar, orders a martini-shaken not stirred-the bartender asks his name the duck answers “Pond, James Pond”
- 35Duck MigrationRead moreRead lessYou know how a group of ducks flies in a V formation? Do you know WHY one row is always longer? More Ducks in that row.
- 35Makes sense!Read moreRead lessWhy do Ducks fly South for the Winter? It’s too far to walk.
- 35Makes sense!Read moreRead lessWhat side of a Duck has the most feathers? The outside!
- 34I tried to warn you!Read moreRead lessKnock Knock Who’s there? Duck Duck who? DUCK! You are about to walk into a bar!
- 32Got a ticket?Read moreRead lessI’m going to see that new band tonight-it’s a cow and a duck They call themselves Cheese and Quackers!
- 30Bar JokesRead moreRead lessTwo Ducks walked into a bar You think the second one would have seen it!
- 30Social Media FowlRead moreRead lessDo you think that teenage ducks make human faces when posing for pics?
- 30Velcome to my pond!Read moreRead lessWhat has wings, feathers and fangs? Count Duckula!
- 30Social MediaRead moreRead lessWhy don’t ducks need smartphones? The web is already at their feet!
- 29The ArtsRead moreRead lessWhat is a Duck’s favorite Ballet? The Nutquacker!
- 29The ArtsRead moreRead lessWhat is a Duck's Second Favorite Ballet? Swan Lake-- because they can dream can’t they?
- 29Duck Bar jokesRead moreRead lessDuck orders a pond water martini Bartender says, “That’ll be $8.00” Duck says “Just put it on my bill”
- 28Teacher says...Read moreRead lessWhy do Ducks have tail feathers? To cover their butt quacks!
- 28A clean get-a-way!Read moreRead lessWhat steals your soap in the bathtub? A robber ducky!
- 28light fuse and get away!Read moreRead lessWhat do you call an exploding Duck? A Fire-Quacker!
- 25ETD?Read moreRead lessWhat time do ducks start migrating? At the Quack of Dawn!
- 25Trust me, I'm a ducktor!Read moreRead lessWhat goes “Quick Quick”? A Duck with hiccups!
- 25Duck Feathers!Read moreRead lessWhy do ducks never grow up? Because they grow down!
- 24why indeed!Read moreRead lessWhy did the Duck cross the road? To prove they weren’t a chicken!
- 24Stop the PUNishment!Read moreRead lessI went to the new petting zoo and saw the goats standing according to height, the pigs wallowing according to size, but try as they might, they couldn’t get all their ducks in a row.
- 23Fun! Fun! Fun!Read moreRead lessWhat do Ducks love to play at the carnival? Quack-a-mole!
- 20Veeeery punny!Read moreRead lessDid you hear about the duck who accidentally fell into the sewer and had to swim out? He was ok but he smelled fowl.