We have browsed the web to find the 100 best Chicken jokes and memes, and created our own chicken jokes – all for you to enjoy on this page. Why chicken jokes? Because they crack us up! Let’s get started.
I have just ordered a chicken and an egg on Amazon today. I will finally find out which one comes first.
What do you call a chicken that’s afraid of the dark?
A chicken.
+++ Good joke: the farmer and the chicken +++
A farmer goes upstairs to his bedroom holding a big chicken in his arms. His wife is already in bed. When entering the room, he says “Look, this is the pig I am sleeping with.”
The wife, surprised, responds “Honey, this is not a pig, this is a chicken.”
The husband corrects her: “Darling, I am not talking to you, I am talking to the chicken,”
+++
+++ The girl with the 2 chicken jokes +++
A young girl asks her dad: “Why did the chicken cross the road?”.
The dad doesn’t know so she responds:
“To get to the house of a dummy dad.”
The dad is puzzled because he does not find the joke very funny, so the girl shares another joke:
“Knock-knock”.
Dad: “Who’s there?”.
Girl: The chicken!
+++
Where do chicken have the most feathers? On the outside
Why was the egg afraid? It was a little chicken.
+++ Good chicken joke: Johnny returns from heaven as a chicken +++
Johnny goes to sleep next to his wife, Becky, and quickly falls sleep. Suddenly, he wakes up and realizes he is in heaven, where Saint Peter awaits him. Johnny says “but I’m not ready to die and go to heaven! I want to go back to earth”.
Saint Peter responds “Well, it is not easy. You can return to earth, but only as a chicken.”
Johnny responds “ok fine, I will go back as a chicken.”
And poooof, Johnny is now back as a chicken on a nice farm. But his bottom really, really hurts, as if it was going to explode. Another chicken comes by and explains that, not to worry, this is just because he has to lay an egg. He recommends “You have to push, push as hard as you can”. So Johnny pushes, pushes as hard as he can. After a few minutes of pushing, still nothing. The other chicken encourages Johnny to continue. After some time, surely enough, a big egg comes out of his bottom!
Relieved, Johnny the chicken feels a lot better, when he suddenly hears his wife Becky scream:
“Johnny, WAKE UP, you just pooped in our bed!!!”.
+++
Before the internet, chickens used the ‘hencyclopedia’ to do their homework
How does chicken get their letters? In hen velopes
How do we get chicken to see our website “TheMostlySimpleLife.com”? We used cluckbait.
How does a chicken without feathers feel? Plucking terrible
What movie does chicken love the most? ET The Egg straterrestrial
Why did the chicken go to bed with the egg? She wanted to know who came first.
What movie does chicken fear most? Poultrygeist
Why is the hen happy when it cooks? Because of the free range.
What made the rooster laugh? The comedihen
What was the chicken DJ playing? Henhouse music
Why was the chicken anxious? It felt cooped up.
Why did the bird be scared of flying? It was a chicken
What do you get when you mix chicken and elephant DNA? A Peckyderm
Which US state is the most yellow? Yolklahoma
Why shouldn’t you put an egg in the microwave? It eggsplodes
Which US state does chicken fear the most? Kentucky
Which final event does chicken fear? The Apeckalypse
Why did the rooster resemble its dad so much? Like feather-like son
Why do people avoid being near the chicken coop? They don’t like the fowl odor
What was the silent hen called? Unclucky
How did the chicken lose her eggs? She mislaid them
What do chicken families do at get-togethers? They have a peck nick
What did the self-centered chicken say about herself? I’m peck able
What did the chicken say when passing through? Eggscuse me
What are hens’ favorite movies? Chick flicks
Why did the other eggs didn’t like the funny egg? He was a practical yolker
What did the agnostic chicken do? Doubted its eggsistence
What was the chicken’s greatest concern? The eggonomics
Why was this chicken not like the others? He was a little eggcentric
What happened to the chicken that wasn’t wearing the seatbelt? It got eggspelled out of the car.
The chicken coop has two doors, and the chicken sedan has 4.
What is chicken’s favorite dessert? The coopcake
Why did the chicken sit on the basketball court? She wanted to lay it on the line
How come a chicken can jump higher than a house? Because houses can’t jump
How do chickens get out off the freeway? They take the eggsit
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a cow? Roost Beef
What do you call a chicken who is a lucky charm? The cluck of the Irish
Who was the most feared chicken in Eastern Europe? Attila the Hen
The farmer was found dead in the chicken coop. Police suspect fowl play
Why did the chicken cross the road? To show the possum how it’s done!
How does a chicken with no legs move? In a fried chicken bucket
At what time do chickens go to sleep? At half past hen.
What do you give to a sneezing chicken? A hen kerchief
What landmarks do chicken visit in Salisbury, UK? Stone Hen ge
Do you like the chicken dance? Of course it’s poultry in motion
What song did chicken Elvis sing? Rock around the cluck.
What day scares chickens? The Fry-day
What movie scares chicken the most? The Eggsorcist
What classic novel do chicken love? Great Eggspectations by Charles Chickens.
Related post: Laugh with our favorite Food Jokes. Kids love a good food joke!
How do you know they are having money trouble in the chicken coop? They were trying to make hens meet
Why did the chicken cross the road? She didn’t tell. But the road was very disappointed.
A chicken and an egg were waiting for a store to open. When the employee arrived, he asked: Who was here first?
How does chicken loosen nut bolts? Turning them counter cluck wise
Why does chicken excel at percussion? They have drumsticks
If raw chicken gives you salmonella; does raw salmon give you chickenella
Where did the chicken pilot sit? On the cockpit.
Why does a chicken lay their eggs? Because they’d break if they dropped them.
Why did the chicken not show up on the radar? It had a clucking device
Why was the rooster drunk? He had one too many cock tail.
Why was the chicken arrested for? Peckpocketing
Why are chickens not welcomed at church? Because they are fowl-mouthed
Why couldn’t the chicken graduate? He failed the final eggxam
How do chickens get in their houses? Using the Hen-trance
Why didn’t the hen like her rooster date? He was too cocky
Why didn’t the chicken get the job he applied for? He lacked eggsperience
What does the fowl-mouth chicken say? Mother Clucker
Who is chicken’s favorite action-movie hero? Hancock
Why did the chicken leave its country? It was in egg sile
Why was the chicken so special? It was eggsclusive
What do chickens do after school? Eggstracurricular activities.
What do you call hot flashes in mature hens? Henopause
Where does the chicken go on new years eve? New Yolk City
Why are chickens, great cooks? They make everything from scratch
Why did the chicken cross the playground? It wanted to go to the other slide
What do you call people who take care of chickens? Chicken tenders
How does a pessimist rooster sing? Cock a doodle don’t.
What Stanley Kubrick{s movie chickens like the most? A cluck work orange
What dessert does chicken prefer? Peck an Pie
How do crazy chickens tell time? Using a cuckoo cluck
Why is it better to buy chicken in bulk? Because they are cheeper by the dozen
What did the religious hen do when she was slapped? She turned the other chick
Which dance does chicken fear? The Fox trot
What do chickens do in their gyms? Eggsercise
Why do chickens buy DVDs? To get the eggstended version
How can you tell the chicken went to school? It was eggducated
Why did the chicken cross the ocean? To get to the other tide.
Why did the chicken cross the internet? To get to the other site
What did the rooster say to the good-looking hen? You’re so hensome
What did a fowl-mouth chicken say to another chicken? Cluck off
What do chickens use when they want to meet new chickens? Peck up lines
What did cops put on the chicken when they arrested him? Hen cuffs
What show do young chickens like? Dora The Eggsplorer
