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110 Best and Funniest Pick Up Lines for Women

couple drinking on couch

Gentlemen, many women say that a great sense of humor is something they look for in a partner, so if you can make your lady laugh from the moment you meet her, your chances will be pretty good! Well, we’ve got you covered and then some. Whether you like to play it cool, turn on the charm, find common interests to spark conversation, or just make your intentions clear right out the gate, you will find some hilarious pick up lines below that will get the two of you laughing and smiling together, and maybe more!

Find Your Funny for Your Honey

Movie snack line

I would love to bring you to the movies… But outside snacks aren’t allowed 

My parents said I should chase my dreams  
So will you slow down and make this easy on me?  

You must be a university degree  
‘Cause if I get you it’ll impress my parents 

Hey girl are you the new vaccine?  
‘Cause the whole world wants to get you first 

If you and I were little frogs  
We could sit on lilypads together. Now wouldn’t that be something? 

Mask line

I wear a mask when I’m around you… ‘Cause it’s hard not to catch feelings for you  

Be a Smooth Operator

Baby, on a scale from 1 to 10, you’re an 8 and I’m in 2 you  

Girl, if you became words on a page, you’d be the fine print

I’m not a math genius, but I’m good with numbers.  
Why don’t you give me yours and let me show you what I can do with it. 

Seems like all the good pickup lines are taken, but if you’re not then I’m down to change that. 

I know Jesus could turn water into wine  
But watch how I turn you into mine 

I’m an undercover cop and you’re under arrest…for being too cute.
Now put your hands where I can hold ’em 

The fact that other women meet you and remain straight is proof that sexuality is not a choice. 

I like taking free stuff  
So if you’re free I’d like to take you out sometime 

Spotify line

Did you see that glitch on Spotify? They didn’t put you in their hottest singles of the week. 

Lucky I’m wearing gloves  
‘Cause you’re just too hot to handle 

I think your parents are drug dealers.  
‘Cause I think you’re dope. 

‘I’m not a Christian 
The only cross I’m focused on is if I ever cross your mind or not 

If someone gave me a dollar for every time I thought of you, I’d only have one, ’cause you stayed on my mind and never left.  

Excuse me, do I know you? 👀  
‘Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend  

Hey, can you do me a favor? I just lost my phone number, can I have yours?  

Well, here I am…  
So, what were your other two wishes? 

Have you seen a doctor recently? You look like you need more Vitamin Me. 

Heads tails line

Let’s flip a coin. Heads, you’re mine. Tails, I’m yours.

Or Be Sweet

Most dudes like to watch the World Cup because it only happens every 4 years…  
But I’d rather watch you because someone like you only comes along once in a lifetime.  

Baby, I feel like a leaf around you.  
Because I’m always falling for you  

Baby, I’m just tryna h_g and c_ddle but there’s only one thing missing… u 

Will you let me tie your shoelaces? I don’t want you falling for anyone else. 

My mom used to say that life is like a deck of cards,  
Well if it is, you must be the Queen of Hearts.  

Roses are red, my cheeks are too.  
That only happens ’cause I’m next to you. 

Hey girl, let me be the wax to your candle wick…  
I’ll melt when the time is right but I’ll be solid for you when you’re not feeling so hot. 

Well. the whole world might be sick right now  
But I’ll never get sick of being next to you 

I think every love story is beautiful..  
But I know ours is gonna be my favorite 

If you stand in front of a mirror and hold up a rose…  
You’ll see two of the prettiest things in the world 

”Hey, you have something on your face  
Oh, it’s just a beautiful smile…  
There it is again 

Hey, are you a broken compass?  
Because I got completely lost while I was looking at you 

I’m actually really glad that you’re wearing a mask…  
Now I can focus on your beautiful eyes.  

Have you got Covid?  
‘Cause I can’t stop looking achoo!  

I’m not a photographer  
But I can definitely picture us together. 

Alarm clock line

What’s the difference between you and my alarm clock? I would love waking up to you 

Sorry I forgot to get you chocolates for Valentine’s Day  
But I’m right here if you want something sweet  

If you were an angle
You’d be acute one 

You’re so dumb you wouldn’t know beautiful if you looked in the mirror. 

Are you a death certificate?  
Because I’d die just to have you 

Hey, is that a ladder in your tights  
Or just a stairway to heaven? 

Just call me Alice  
Because I’m ready to explore your wonderland  

Roses are red and I think you’re really great  
Today’s my birthday so let’s go on a date  

Girl, are you Korean?  
Because I think you’re my Seoul mate  

Our love will be like a Windows update  
It’s gonna last forever and ever  

You must be a dragon, princess  
‘Cause you only exist in fairytales 

Some people think Disneyland is the happiest place on Earth…  
I guess they’ve never stood next to you. 

Be Direct 

Wow, you must be an FDA-approved respiratory mask…   
Because I really need you to sit on my face. 

Roses are red, violets are fine  
I can be your six, wanna be my nine?  

I heard that the tongue is the strongest muscle.  
Let’s wrestle.  

“Here baby, I’ll clear a place for you to sit down” *wipes face*  

Google showed me all these different spots  
But didn’t tell me that you were the best place to eat out 

Hey baby, I know I’m only a 6, but I bet you could be my 9.  

Damn girl, are you a roll of film?  
‘Cause I want to take you to my dark room and see what develops…  

I wish I was your heart…  
Because it’s pumping inside you and I’m not. 

Are you a shark?  
Because I got plenty of swimmers for you to swallow.  

You know, you remind me of my pinky toe  
You’re cute, little, and I’m likely to bang you on every piece of furniture in my house  

My magic watch is saying that you’re not wearing any underwear.  
Oh, you are? Damn thing must be an hour ahead again. 

I would tell you that you are beautiful, but I know that beauty is on the inside and I haven’t been inside you yet.  

I like my women same way I like my Tesla  
Turned off when I’m not around, but turned on when I’m inside. 

Roses are red, you are a cutie  
You’ll make me smile if you show me that booty 

Hey girl, are you the number 34?  
‘Cause I’m 35 and we’ll go real nice together. 

Wow, are you Covid-19? ‘Cause if I had you we wouldn’t leave the bed for two weeks straight 

If I flip a coin, what are the chances of me getting head? 

Roses are red, whales are grey  
Let’s bang in my room if that’s okay 

Hey, are you a pirate?  
Cause I have all my sea-men waiting for you 

Are you a piano?  
Cause I’m gonna give you a D major and hope that a minor doesn’t come out 

Hey baby, are you a meaningful relationship?  
‘Cause I just know I’d ruin you  

Why would you do drugs when you can do just me? 

Roses are red, quarantine makes me blue…  
Poetry’s hard and I am too 

Are You _______? Because _______! 

Felony line

Damn girl, are you a felony? Because I’m about ready to commit  

Hey girl, are you a strong dose of caffeine?  
Cause you’re the reason I can’t sleep at night  

Hey, are you my favorite song?  
‘Cause you’re stuck my head  

Are you God?  
‘Cause you answered all my prayers when you came into my life.  

Hey baby, are you a Bluetooth device?  
‘Cause I’m tryna connect with you.  

Hey baby, are you a Confederate statue?  
‘Cause I wanna see you go down  

Hey baby, are you the airport?  
Cause I’m hoping to touch down on your strip 

Heinz Ketchup line

Hey baby, are you Heinz? ‘Cause I wanna ketchup with you sometime. 

Wow, baby, you must be Gillette.  
‘Cause you’re the best a man can get. 

Baby, are you a hole?  
‘Cause you’ve always been in my heart. 

Hey baby, are you history?  
Because I’d really love to go down on you. 

Hey baby, are you 2020?  
Because you left me speechless… 

Use Things that You Both Like… 

MarioSonic line

Mario is red, Sonic is blue. Won’t you be my player 2? 

If you were a Pokemon, what would your type be?  
*wait for their answer*  
Wow, I knew you’d be my type. 

Hey baby, are you related to Yoda?  
Because Yodalicious. 

Damn baby, are you good at video games?  
Because you just put me on hard mode 

Hey, are you Cyberpunk 2077?  
‘Cause I still really like you despite your many flaws 

I’m like Spongebob around you girl  
I wanna bring you to the beach and make you Sandy Cheeks 

Have you seen Avatar?   
Well, I’m not an airbender, I’m a booty bender and I’ll make those cheeks clap. 

Are we on the Hogwarts Express? Because I feels like I’m going somewhere magical with you.  

Baeblade line

If you were a weapon… You’d be my Bae-Blade. 

Show that You’re Able to Laugh at Yourself…

Hey, can we kiss? I could really use some serotonin to help with my depression 

Rose are red, Corona is a virus  
Sleep with me and I’ll give you hepatitis 

You know I’m trash, I know I’m trash…  
The question is will you be my trashcan? 

Hey baby, are you looking for a STUD?  
I’ve already have the STD, now all I need is U.  

Damn baby, are you the cops?  
Because you probably aren’t here for me, but I’m getting nervous anyway.  

Hey baby, are you Nobody?  
-Cause people have been telling me that you’ve loved me since I was born 

Hey, are you my math homework?  
‘Cause I’m finna spread you out on my desk and do you all night   
(but I’ll probably give up after two minutes and start crying.)  

Hey girl, are you my childhood trauma?  
Because I can’t stop thinking about you. 

Let me warn you baby, I’m like a microwave meal  
Her: Hot?  
No, the pictures look better than the real thing and I’m done in about 2 minutes. 

Will you be my pillow?  
‘Cause I need someone to cry on 

Roses are red, violets are blue…  
I’m just average but damn look at you.  

Hey girl, are you my insecurities?  
Because I think about you a lot 

Or Inspire Awe and Wonder with Your Science-Based Pick Up Lines…

Hey girl, are you an atom with a net charge?  
Because I’ve got my ion you 

Hey girl, are you the planet Earth?  
‘Cause some people think you’re flat, but I know you have amazing curves. 

Are you Dijkstra?  
‘Cause I’m hoping you can tell me the shortest path to your heart. 

Hey girl, are you my 23rd chromosome?   
‘Cause I’m down for you  

They must have missed your name off the periodic table  
‘Cause you’re one of the most stable elements in my life. 

Albert Einstein said nothing is faster than the speed of light.  
Be he didn’t see how fast I fell for you.  

Girl, I don’t need to know about the solar system  
My entire world revolves around you. 

Cosmos line

Baby, are you the cosmos? Because you’re just heavenly.  

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