Get ready to laugh your gas off! We’ve scoured the universe for the funniest Uranus jokes and puns that are simply out of this world. From butt-tickling one-liners to fartastic puns, this post is sure to give you a good time.
Uranus jokes often rely on a play on words, using the name of the planet “Uranus” in a humorous way. The jokes usually involve mispronouncing or twisting the name of the planet to create a humorous effect. The topic of Uranus jokes is usually unexpected, which can make them catch people off guard and increase the humor factor. All of these factors combine to make Uranus jokes a popular source of humor for many people.
So sit back, relax, and let’s explore the depths of Uranus together!
Uranus – Funny Jokes and News
The media has to be more careful when announcing breaking news about Uranus discoveries:
and more breaking news are coming out:
Enough with the news announcements. Let’s look at more jokes and memes!
Top Uranus jokes
John went for a checkup and asked the doctor, “Will I live long and healthy?”
Doc said, “Nope, Mercury’s in Uranus at this moment.”
John said, “Well, I’m not too worried about that: I don’t believe in astrology.”
Doc replied, “Oh, me neither, but my thermometer just broke in your butt.”
If your boyfriend is willing to do everything for you – and give you the sun and the moon – then you should at least be open to giving him Uranus.
How can people believe anything NASA says when they are obviously lying to us every day by classifying Uranus as a planet when it’s clearly a black hole.
The phrase “I love you to the moon and back” doesn’t impress me. The moon is just 238,800 miles away, which isn’t that far. If you want to impress someone, tell them “I love you to Uranus and back,” which is 1.8 billion miles away. But also be careful, cuz you might end up getting slapped.
More Uranus jokes and memes
What would be the name of Uranus if it were ruled by communists?
Ouranus.
If the solar system were represented by the human body, the Sun would be the brain, as without it, everything else would stop.
The Earth would be the heart, as it’s the source of life in the galaxy.
Uranus would the butthole for obvious reasons.
And as for Pluto, well, it would be your di*k because it’s too small to even be acknowledged.
Finally getting a job at NASA after years of hard work then finding out the job description is “Probing Uranus” must be one of the most bittersweet feelings a person can experience.
What’s the difference between NASA and the NSA?
Well, obviously the extra A in NASA.
And what’s the similarity between them?
They both really wish they’d get an opportunity to probe Uranus.
What do NASA and the Vatican have in common?
They’re both super into probing Uranus.
What do you call it when the sun shines over Uranus?
Perineum sunning.
Why are billionaires like Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, and Richard Branson so eager to go to space?
Because they’ve already fucked almost every human on Earth and can’t wait to finally get a chance at Uranus.
What’s the best place to hide drugs if you’re in space?
Uranus.
Considering how many jokes Trump has made at his political opponents’ appearances, I’m surprised no one clapped back with something obvious like, “All you do is talk sh*t, which isn’t surprising since your mouth does look a lot like Uranus.”
Why is Uranus starting to get so angry?
It’s so sick and tired of being the butt of the joke.
Guy: Do you know how long it takes for a satellite to reach Uranus.
Other guy: No, can you tell me?
First guy: Actually I can show you if you just bend over.
You’re so fat, NASA discovered a planet that’s bigger than Earth, but still smaller than Uranus.
My nerdy boyfriend never stops bragging about how he once saw Venus with just his eyes while driving through the countryside. It’s like “So what, I can see Uranus anytime I want.”
Last night, I saw Uranus from my bedroom window.
You know, I’d really appreciate it if you could close your blinds.
“Today, we’re going to be showing the first ever live feed from Uranus.”
“Hi, I’m Dr. Bronson and I’m going to be in charge of your colonoscopy.”
What do Captain Kirk and toilet paper have in common?
They both scour Uranus in search of Klingons.
Sir William Herschel discovered Uranus in 1781. How the heck did he do that, that’s literally hundreds of years before you were born.
What did Jupiter say to Neptune?
“Oh wow! I can clearly see Uranus from here!”
My friend once told me that Uranus is pronounced “Your anus.”
I was like, “Your anus, M’ars.”
What do you call a person who goes on a mission to Uranus?
An asstronaut.
What did the gay astronaut say to another gay astronaut?
“Sooo, is it gonna be Uranus or mine?”
How does being an OnlyFans model differ from being an Astrologer?
If you’re an OnlyFans model, only a fraction of your customers care about the position of Uranus.
What’s more annoying than lobsters around Saturn?
Crabs around Uranus.
I’m studying the solar system and trying to find what the temperature of Uranus is.
Hopefully it’s not too low… HOLY SH*T, it’s -353 how are you still alive?
NASA has finally decided to change Uranus’s name to put an end to all the jokes.
From now on, it’s going to be called Urectum.
If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, where do all the genders come from?
They’re pulled right out of Uranus.
What did Uranus’s immigration officer say to the Korean traveler?
Oh Uranasian; welcome home!
Teacher: Does anyone here know which planet is the closest to us?
Every student in class: Mercury!
Little Johnny: Miss, I think it’s actually Uranus that’s the closest planet to us.
Teacher: Oh! What makes you think that, Johnny?
Little Johnny: Because it’s right behind you!
Why is Uranus the coldest planet in our galaxy?
Because the sun don’t shine there.
If the Mars rover is called Curiosity, then what should the Uranus rover be called?
Bicuriosity.
Imagine how shi*ty Uranus must be feeling after decades of being the butt of the joke.
Uranus emits more gas than Exxon.
Me: I’m really jealous of Voyager 2.
Husband: Why?
Me: I wish it was me who had the first encounter with Uranus.
Why are Neptune and Saturn the buttcheeks of the Milky Way?
Because Uranus is located right between them.
When’s the only time Uranus can be observed with the naked eye?
During a full moon.
“Damn, you just destroyed those two Uranus astronauts!”
“I know, I absolutely rectum.”
During a lesson on the solar system, a teacher asks her young students if they have any questions about the planets.
Little Johnny raises his hand and asks, “If Uranus is made of gas, does that mean you can just plow through it?”
How did the farmer know that he was visited by aliens from Uranus?
He found crap circles.
