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101 Best Orphan Jokes & Memes [2023 Update]

Insensitive humor can be entertaining for some people – including us! If you’re interested, check out these popular orphan jokes and memes and consider sharing them with your friends. We have pieced together more than 100 orphan jokes into this collection for you to read. We hope you enjoy it!

orphan shrugging shoulders
Portrait of a shocked little kid standing and shrugging shoulders isolated over white background

Why are orphans usually bad at dodgeball? Because almost no one ever misses them.

Why can’t orphans learn about Ancient Egypt? Because they won’t know what a mummy is.

Why can’t orphans watch PG movies? Because parental guidance is required.

orphan poker joke

What do blind kids and orphans have in common? Neither of them ever sees their parents.

Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they actually come back.

An orphan is sitting all by himself on a curb, wearing dirty clothes. A man walks by and asks: “hey, little boy, are you an orphan?”. The boy responds “yes, what gave me away?”. The man responds without hesitation: “Your parents.”

What’s an orphan’s favorite movie? “Home Alone”.

parent signature required joke

I made a website for orphans, unfortunately, it doesn’t have a homepage.

New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid. Students: OOF Teacher: Is anyone missing? Students: Your Parents

What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.

selfies orphan joke

What is an orphan’s favorite event? The Homecoming Dance.

What TV series does an orphan hate? Family Guy.

Why was the orphan’s first phone an iPhone X. Because that particular phone didn’t have a home button.

self-raising flour joke

How did the orphan become famous? They said, “Go Big or Go Home”.

I saw a little kid crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at an orphanage.

Why are there only 363 days in an orphans calendar? Because they don’t have Father’s Day or Mother’s Day.

We should stop making jokes about orphans, their parents will get mad. Oh… Nevermind.

Why don’t orphans work as computer repair technicians? Because they can’t find the motherboard.

Why can’t orphans work at S.C Johnson? Cause it’s a family company.

Why do orphans go to church? So they can have someone to call father.

There is an upside to being an orphan… every bag of chips is the family size.

If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What’s the difference between puppies and orphans? The puppies actually get adopted.

How do you make an orphan’s hands bleed? Tell him to clap until his parents come home.

Why do orphans like getting kidnapped Because someone actually wants them.

grand theft auto joke

Why can orphans travel around so much? They never get homesick.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? At least one gets picked.

Why can’t orphans do homework? They don’t have a home to do it at.

foster orphan joke

What do you call an orphans family tree? A stump.

Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They wanted someone to call daddy.

Knock knock. Orphan: Who is there? Not your parents.

Kid: “I wish I could be like Batman!”. Genie: “Wish granted!”. When the kid gets home, both of his parents are dead.

Why do some couples make their status “single” after a small argument? Like I don’t put “orphan” after I get into an argument with my family.

Well, I’m off to the orphanage to tell “Yo Mama!” jokes.

What is an orphan family portrait called? A self-portrait.

Why can’t an orphan get suspended or expelled from school? Because they need to contact the parents.

letter f in orphan stands for family joke

How does E.T have an advantage over orphans? E.T can actually phone home.

You tell an orphan joke to an orphan, you start laughing, and they start crying… Then they say they are going to tell their mom, but then you start laughing harder.

What’s an orphan’s favorite spiderman movie? Spiderman – No Way Home.

Why do orphans like Batman? They are 50% like him.

C’mon man, give the orphans a break with these jokes. No, not until their parents pick them up.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

orphan baseball jokes

Never tell an orphan about a family matter, they wouldn’t understand.

What song do orphans hate the most? “We are family”.

Can orphans eat at a family restaurant? No.

A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage, but why was the girl crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog.

Welcome to Dave’s orphanage. You make it. We take it.

orphan homework joke

So there’s an orphan in a hospital and the doctor walks up and says “Sorry kid, but this is a family hospital”.

Why do orphans play Minecraft? So, that they can at least build a home.

The cemetery should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.

Tell a dark joke to an orphan, then hit them. They’ll get the punchline right away.

Why do orphans have water with cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

dad never coming back with the milk joke for orphans

Why can’t orphans eat a large bag of chips? Because the bag says family size.

As siblings, we always joke about being adopted, but it stops being funny when you are playing in your parent’s room and find both of your adoption papers.

Why can’t orphans go on an away trip? Because they already are on one.

What are the differences between an orphan and Pikachu? Pikachu, I chose you!

It’s April Fool’s Day. I’m gonna go to the orphanage and tell kids their parents are here to pick them up.

One day an orphan threw a boomerang and it never came back, just like their parents.

Why was the orphan walking through the neighborhood? I don’t know, because it’s not like he has a home to go to.

How many orphans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because they don’t even have a home.

lightbulb joke

Why do orphans hate going to Costco? Because they need a parent to get samples.

Why did the male orphan decide to be gay? Because he wanted someone to call daddy.

How do orphans have a family reunion? They look in the mirror.

What was the orphan’s first phone? The iPhone X because it had no home button

I’m a family doctor and I wish I could help but… you’re an orphan.

What’s missing in an orphanage computer? The motherboard.

orphan's computer meme

Why can’t the orphan play the game of life? They don’t know what a family road trip is.

Why did the orphan commit mass murder? To be on top of the wanted list.

Do want to know why they call it an orphanage? Cause they couldn’t call it an orphan home.

An orphanage got robbed yesterday, let’s just say that’s the second worst thing to happen to those orphans. At least they didn’t end up like their parents.

Why do orphans like to play Grand Theft Auto 5? So they can feel ‘wanted’.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They can never make it to the home plate.

Why are orphans so good at tennis? Because that’s the only ‘love’ they get.

What do you do when you see a sad orphan? Nothing, just let them wait for their parents.

Why do orphans go to church? So that they call someone ‘father’.

What’s the difference between criminals and orphans? Only one is ‘wanted’.

Why can’t an orphan play Family Feud? Because it has to have a family in order to play.

Why do orphans want to be criminals? So that they can be ‘wanted’ by somebody.

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