*** IMPORTANT: Discrimination toward people may create significant consequences for their well-being – the jokes on this page are meant to be in good fun – please always remain respectful ***
Life is more enjoyable when you can be thick-skinned and laugh at yourself. And what group is the most thick-skinned? Fat people! Let’s celebrate them by sharing some laughs that just happen to be at their expense. Share these with your fat family members and fat friends.
What if they want to punch you? No worries, simply walk away because their wobbling will never allow them to catch up to you. Better yet, throw a donut in the opposite direction and they’ll eagerly go after it.
In all seriousness, we recognize that some people have valid medical or psychological reasons for being overweight. For those folks, you are excused. For those people who think gravy is a beverage, we’re coming for you with our jokes! 🙂
The Best (Respectful) Fat Jokes
There was a man who was so obese that his bathroom scale said:
“Please tell others to wait for their turn.”
What is the main difference between the person you dated and the person you married?
About 70 pounds.
When does a fox turn into an elephant? A couple of years after you marry her.
He was so obese that during the COVID-19 pandemic he could socially distance from himself.
An overweight woman decided to uninstall her fitness app when a hearse showed up at her restaurant right after she entered her calorie total.
At least fat Americans can speak a bit of French:
Buffet, Baguette, Croissants…
A guy at a disco goes up to an overweight girl break dancing on a glass floor. He says, “Wow, great strength!” She’s quite grateful for the compliment and says, “Thanks. You really think so?” The guy says, “Absolutely, most glass would have shattered by now.”
She tried creating a weight loss support group, but many found that the name ‘Wide Loaders United‘ was too off-putting.
Why are fat girls the best at giving or@l pleasure?
Because they can’t stop shoving a lot of things in their mouth.
Why do heavy women never forget when someone calls them “fat”?
Because elephants have a great memory.
What exercise are fat people the best at doing?
Chewing.
Reminder: the jokes on this page are meant to be in good fun. Please always stay respectful and kind.
5 funny “fat memes”, inspired by your mamma
Best “Yo Mama is soooo fat” jokes
Yo mama eats so much that her blood type is gravy.
Yo mama’s so fat that she can no longer sit around the house. The last time she tried sitting AROUND the house, the roof caved in.
Yo mama’s body is so big that Dora refused to explore her.
Yo mama’s so fat that her hips are no longer in the same time zone.
Yo mama weighs so much that when she jumps to a conclusion, she gets out of breath.
Yo mama so fat, that when her right hip talks to her left hip, it’s considered a long-distance call.
Yo mama so fat, the tub overflows even when there’s no water.
She was so fat that movie theaters paid to rent her butt cheeks as IMAX screens.
Yo mama so fat that by the time she passed by the tv, the game was already over.
Yo mama’s so fat that even though I didn’t chuckle when she fell, I did see that the asphalt cracked.
Yo mama’s so fat that when she visits the zoo, all the animals hide their food.
Yo mama’s so fat that she comes with her own gravity field.
Yo mama’s so fat that after having a leopard skin coat made, leopards were put on the endangered species listing.
Yo mama’s body is so big that it takes 2 bus transfers and the space shuttle to find her good side.
Yo mama’s so fat that when she entered her weight into her fitness app, it said “Please enter your weight, not your social security number.”
Yo mama’s so fat that when she was invited to the Super Bowl, she asked if spoons were included.
Yo mama’s so fat that on her way to Heaven she collapsed the stairway.
Yo mama is so large that it took until Valentine’s Day to finish printing a picture of her on Christmas’ day.
This obesity issue is here to stay = more jokes for us!
How can you tell your girlfriend is getting fat? She is now the same size as your wife.
What is the name for an overeating bee?
Chub-bee.
What do you call a bee that can’t control their eating?
O-bees.
(obese)
There’s a popular new weight routine made just for hobos. It’s trampoline the nickname is Tramp-o-lean.
Your body is so huge that on sunny days you can rent yourself out as a parasol.
He was so obese that his stomach always arrived 2 minutes before the rest of him.
He was Britain’s fattest spy. His codename was 00000000000000000007.
Compilation of “Family Guys” jokes (video)
Watch this short video below for funny fat jokes:
Congratulations on deciding on your weight loss surgery. You have a lot of guts.
A woman tells her doctor she can’t help being overweight. Her parents, siblings and children are all overweight because it runs in the family.
The doctor responds by saying “I seriously doubt anyone is running in your family.”
Her butt was so massive that the customs officer apprehended her for trying to conceal a large amount of crack past security.
The fire department advised me to give up jogging. My thighs were rubbing together so much that it caused my tights to ignite.
The best benefit of being fat is that you’re least likely to be kidnapped.
She no longer enjoys amusement parks because kids keep asking to ride her.
Through dieting, my parents have lost 100 lbs combined!
My mom is down 110 lbs.
Her feelings were hurt when she jumped into the swimming pool and her kids jumped out shouting “Tsunami!”
It’s not food that fat shames me, it’s the voice activated scale!
Yo Mama is still eating and still sooo fat (more jokes!)
Yo mama is so fat that she gets a group insurance discount all by herself.
Yo mama’s so fat that flesh eating bacteria die from exhaustion.
He took his boxer shorts to be laundered and the lady said, “sorry, we don’t clean tents.”
Yo mama’s so fat that whenever she is on my mind, my neck nearly buckles under the strain.
Yo mama has such a big head that she uses a paint-roller to put on her mascara.
Yo mama eats so much that she got certified as a spoon and fork operator.
Fat beware! These jokes are writing themselves!
After returning from a business trip to England an obese man told his wife that he had lost a lot of money. She said, “On the bright side you found a way to lose pounds!”
She was so heavy that she wasn’t being vain when she said the world revolves around her.
What’s the quickest way for a fat man to burn a LOT of calories in a few minutes?
Set himself on fire.
Fat people always have the body shape of a god.
Unfortunately, that god is Buddha.
Why shouldn’t you ever interrupt a group of fat people talking?
They may be having a heavy discussion.
Don’t tease fat people, they already have too much on their plate.
She’s perfected the seafood diet:
If she can “see” it, she can eat it.
Many overweight people are able to get into shape.
Elephant shape.
It’s called the One Month diet.
In the end you are sure to lose 30 days.
Why did the obese man give up on his diet?
He was thick and tired of it.
It’s better to never tell jokes about fat people.
They never work out.
She stopped wearing her yellow and black tank top when people started yelling “Taxi!” at her.
How is it that every diet I try seems to fail whenever it’s time to eat?
I play Hide and Seek with losing weight, but it always finds me.
About this new diet… I used all my willpower and I was able to give up dieting.
Why aren’t fat jokes socially acceptable? It’s never nice to make fun at anyone’s expanse.
If you enjoyed the fat jokes on this page, you will love these jokes too:
150 Most Offensive Jokes
130 Best Dirty Jokes of All-Time
laynie
Monday 3rd of July 2023
ur the reason McDonalds created a 100 pc nugget
Bryan
Saturday 26th of August 2023
@laynie, lmao