Life is more enjoyable when you can be thick-skinned and laugh at yourself. And what group is the most thick-skinned? Fat people! Let’s celebrate them by sharing some laughs that just happen to be at their expense. Share these with your fat family members and fat friends. What if they want to pvnch you? No worries, simply walk away because their wobbling will never allow them to catch up to you.
*** IMPORTANT: Discrimination toward people may create significant consequences for their psychological health and well-being – the jokes on this page are meant to be in good fun – please always remain respectful ***
Better yet, throw a donut in the opposite direction and they’ll eagerly go after it. In all seriousness, we recognize that some people have valid medical reasons for being obese. They may have a health condition and just can’t help the shape that they are in. For those folks, you are excused. For those people who think gravy is a beverage and just can’t get enough of barbecue, cakes, and pies, we’re coming for you! We have a beef with you and it’s not the kind of beef you can put between two hamburger buns!
The Best Fat Jokes
His wife was so obese that when she weighed herself, the scale said, “Please tell your family members to wait their turn.”
She was so fat that movie theaters paid to rent her butt cheeks as screens.
He was so obese that during the pandemic he could socially distance from himself.
An overweight woman decided to uninstall her workout app when a hearse showed up at her restaurant right after she entered her calorie total.
Why do obese Romans prefer loose clothes? Because in Roman Numerals L is bigger than XL.
What French word have all fat Americans learned at an early age? Buffet.
Why are drug dealers now selling LSD as the best weight loss medication? No one is going to cross a fire-breathing cobra blocking the refrigerator.
She tried creating a weight loss support group, but many found that the name Wide Loaders United was too off-putting.
A guy at a disco goes up to an overweight girl break dancing. He says, “Wow, great strength!” She’s quite grateful for the compliment is says, “You really think so?” The guy says, “Absolutely, most floors would have given way by now.”
Why are fat girls the best for giving oral pleasure? Because they can’t stop shoving things in their mouth.
What exercise are fat people the best at doing? Chewing.
“Yo Mama is soooo fat” jokes
Yo mama eats so much that her blood type is gravy.
Yo mama’s so fat that she can no longer sit around the house. The last time she tried sitting AROUND the house, the roof caved in.
Yo mama’s body is so big that Dora refuses to explore her.
Yo mama’s so fat that her hips are no longer in the same time zones.
Yo mama’s so obese that even her house has stretch marks.
Yo mama weighs so much that she gets out of breath every time she jumps to a conclusion.
Yo mama so fat, that when her right hip talks to her left hip, it’s considered a long-distance call.
Yo mama so fat, the tub overflows even when there’s no water.
Yo mama so fat that by the time she passed by the tv, all the World Series games had been played.
Yo mama’s so fat that even though I didn’t chuckle when she fell, I did see that the asphalt cracked.
Yo mama’s so fat that when she visits the zoo, all the animals hide their food.
Yo mama’s so fat that she comes with her own gravity field.
Yo mama’s so fat that after having a leopard skin coat made, leopards were put on the endangered species listing.
Yo mama’s body is so big that it takes 2 bus transfers and the space shuttle to find her good side.
Yo mama’s so fat that when she entered her weight into her fitness app, it said “Please enter your weight, not your social security number.”
Yo mama’s so fat that when she was invited to the Super Bowl, she asked if spoons were included.
Yo mama’s so fat that on her way to Heaven she collapsed the stairway.
Yo mama is so that that when she took a Christmas picture, it took until Valentine’s day to finish printing.
This obesity issue is here to stay = more jokes for us!
How can you tell your girlfriend is getting fat? She is now the same size as your wife.
What is the name for an overeating bee?
What do you call a bee that can’t control their eating?
There’s a popular new weight routine made just for hobos. It’s trampoline the nickname is Tramp-o-lean.
Your body is so huge that on sunny days you can rent yourself out as shade.
She was so overweight that when she goes to the ballpark, she is sitting next to everyone.
He was so obese that his stomach always arrived 20 minutes before the rest of him.
The most popular way people tend put on bounds is by having a romantic dinner for you…all by yourself.
He was Britain’s fattest spy. His codename was 00000000000000000007.
Congratulations on deciding on your weight loss surgery. You have a lot of guts.
A woman tells her doctor she can’t help being overweight. Her parents, siblings and children are all overweight because it runs in the family. The doctor responds by saying “I seriously doubt anyone is running in your family.”
Her butt was so massive that the customs officer apprehended her as she tried concealing the large amount crack pass him.
The fire department advised me to give up jogging. My thighs were rubbing together causing my tights to ignite.
The best benefit of being fat is that you’re least likely to be kidnapped.
She no longer enjoys amusement parks because kids keep asking to ride her.
One day a man tells his wife that he has bought for her a fool-proof tape for weight loss. She says, Why? Our vcr player is broken”. He replies, “The tape is for your mouth!”
What did Joaquin Phoenix win because of his weight loss transformation in “Joker”? Atrophy.
Through dieting, my parents have lost 100 lbs combined! My mom is down 110 lbs.
Her feelings were hurt when she jumped into the swimming pool and her kids jumped out shouting “Tsunami!”
It’s not food that fat shames me, it’s the voice activated scale!
Yo Mama is still eating and still sooo fat
Yo mama is so fat that she gets a group insurance discount all by herself.
Yo mama’s so fat that flesh eating bacteria die from exhaustion.
He took his boxer shorts to be laundered and the lady said, “sorry, we don’t clean tents.”
Yo mama eats so much that she got mad when they told her she couldn’t order the size of the bucket that was on the roof.
Yo mama’s so fat that whenever she is on my mind, my neck nearly buckles under the strain.
Yo mama’s so fat that in bed, your dad has to ride the wave on her belly so that he can kiss her.
Yo mama is so fat that I recovered 2 GB of storage when I deleted the selfie she sent me.
Yo mama has such a fat head that she uses a paint-roller to put on her mascara.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she went to bungee jumping, she broke the earth’s crust. Thankfully it was easy to locate her next of chins.
Yo mama eats so much that she got certified as a spoon and fork operator.
Fat beware! These jokes are writing themselves!
People find that smoking is a proven weight loss method one way or another at some point.
It has been said that the idea of welcoming and embracing overweight people started largely with the wider community.
After returning from a business trip to England an obese man told his wife that he had lost alot of money. She said, “On the bright side you found a way to lose pounds!”
Don’t be bothered if someone calls you fat. You’re much bigger than that!
She was so heavy that she wasn’t being vain when she said the world revolves around her.
What’s the quickest way for a fat man to burn calorie? Set himself on fire.
Fat people always have the body shape of a god. Unfortunately, that god is Buddha.
Why shouldn’t you ever interrupt a group of fat people talking? They may be having a heavy discussion.
Don’t tease fat people, they already have too much on their plate.
She’s perfected the seafood diet. If she can it, she can eat it.
Many overweight people are able to get into shape. Elephant shape.
It’s called the One Month diet. In the end you are sure to lose 30 days.
Why did the obese man give up on his diet? He was thick and tired of it.
Where do they take fat people who try to escape from exercising? The Fitness Protection Program.
She’s so fat that even the Biggest Loser TV show told her she can apply when she’s had her octuplets. She wasn’t pregnant.
It’s better to never tell jokes about fat people. They never work out.
What can you do to help a fat kid lose weight? Tie a cupcake to a car’s bumper.
She stopped wearing her yellow and black tank top when people started yelling “Taxi!” at her.
What did the fat man say to the man at the gym who had normal abs? You’re abnormal.
Why didn’t the fat lady think her weight was a problem? Because heat makes everything expand so she must have been a pretty hot woman.
What did the workaholic’s past marriage share in common with fat people? They both never worked out.
How is it that every diet I try seems to fail whenever it’s time to eat?
I highly recommend the communist diet. You can lose alot of weight with this 5 year plan.
I play Hide and Seek with losing weight, but it always finds me.
I used all my willpower and I was able to give up dieting.
I always believed the air was free until purchased bags of Doritos.
All I have to say to the thief who took my diet pills. You’ll realize one day that my loss is no gain for you!
Why aren’t fat jokes socially acceptable? It’s never nice to make fun at anyone’s expanse.