Dentists are well known to be sadistic and hurt their patients with excruciating procedures. But we can also have a little fun with them, so we have compiled this list of the best dentist jokes, adding a few hilarious memes in the process. Enjoy!
Best Dentist Jokes and Memes
What did the dentist see on her trip to the North Pole?
A molar bear!
Dish is how I talk since I lost my tooth!
Why does the deer need braces?
He has buck teeth!
The patient asks his dentist, “How much will it cost me to have this tooth pulled out?
“500 bucks,” the dentist replies.
The patient is aghast. “500 bucks for just a few minutes work? That’s a rip off!”
The dentist smiles nonchalantly and says, “No worries. I can pull it out slowly, if you prefer.”
What do the dentists do when they’re on a roller coaster?
They brace themselves!
Why did the vampire have a stinky mouth?
He had bat breath!
One time, I left my brush at the dentist. Now it’s a fine-toothed comb.
The local dentist was arrested for dealing drugs. I was pretty surprised. I’ve been going to him for ten years, and I never knew he was a dentist!
Why didn’t the dentist ask the lady to a date?
He was already taking out a tooth.
Michael is sitting in the waiting room after getting his tooth extracted. The receptionist asks him how he was feeling. “I guess I’m okay” he says, “but I didn’t like the four-letter-word the doctor used during the extraction.”
“Oh, my!” says the receptionist. “What did he say?”
Michael answers, “Oops.”
Why do the dentist’s friends go to her with their problems?
Because she gets right to the root of things.
This image below shows a dentist’s actual waiting room…:
Why did the Pharaoh visit the dentist?
Because E-gypt his tooth! (he-chipped)
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
Waiting for his turn in the barber shop, an old man coughs violently, sending his false teeth across the room and into the wall, breaking them beyond repair.
“Oh, dear,” he says forlornly. “What am I going to do? I can’t afford a new set.”
“Don’t worry,” says his friend seated beside him. “I’ll get a pair for you from my brother. Meet me here again tomorrow.”
The next day, the men meet at the barber shop again. The friend gives the man a new set of false teeth. They fit perfectly.
“This is wonderful!” says the man. “Your brother must be a very good dentist.”
“Oh, he’s not a dentist,” replies the friend. “He’s an undertaker.”
What did the judge say to the dentist?
“Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?”
What’s a dentist’s favorite dinosaur? A Floss-iraptor!
I knew this guy who got kicked out of the dentist’s office for using all the nitrous oxide.
He got the last laugh, though.
What to do you call an older dentist?
A bit long in the tooth.
Why is it important to be nice to your dentist?
Because they have fillings, too.
Why was the Norse God of Thunder so quiet after he got his tooth pulled?
He was a little Thor!
Even More Dentist Jokes
Why does the dentist have a television on the ceiling of his exam room?
So his patients can Netflix and drill.
What is the dentist’s favorite movie?
Plaque to the Future!
The dentist asks his patient, “Do you floss?”
The patient nods. “Religiously,” he says.
The dentist looks over the patient’s filthy teeth again. “Really?”
“Really!” the patient says. “I floss every Christmas and Easter!”
What do you call two dentists who live across the country from each other?
Why is the Securities and Exchanges Commission investigating the dentist?
He was accused of incisor trading!
What did the dentist say to the tooth when he had to leave the room?
I’ll fill you in when I get back.
Where did the killer whale go to get his braces?
“What did you do before you became a dentist?” a patient asks one day.
“I was in the Army,” the dentist replies.
“Oh, really?” the patient says. “What did you do in the Army?”
The dentist says, “I was a drill sergeant.”
What is the Number One reason patients don’t show up for root canals?
They lose their nerve!
In many countries such as France or Spain, the “Tooth fairy” is a little mouse. This photo was taken in a dentist office in Spain:
My dentist asked me to open up, but I don’t know him well enough to tell him all my secrets.
Why didn’t the dentist get along with the manicurist?
They fought both tooth and nail!
Which teeth do you need to brush?
Just the ones you want to keep!
How did the dental hygienist land his job?
By word of mouth.
If a someone has 25 candy bars and eats 22 of them, what do they have?
What did the dentist say when the world’s best golfer came in for an appointment?
You have a hole in one!
Most Popular Dentist Jokes and Images on Social Media
This dentist gave away root beer and chocolate cigarettes on Halloween. The princess on the left looks much better now!
The cat says “I’m not a dentist, but let me have a look at your teeth”:
Funny Real Dentist Names
Rachel has a GREAT name for a dentist – see image below (At Riverview dental care):
Final Dentist Jokes
Why did the smartphone go to the dentist?
It had a Bluetooth!
My teeth were stained, so the dentist asked me, “Do you smoke or drink coffee?”
I was confused, but I told him anyway that I drink it.
What did the tooth say to the dentist before he left for vacation?
Fill me in when you get back!
What did the dentist shout in the courtroom?
“You can’t handle the tooth!”
Whose job is the most dangerous in Transylvania?
What’s the best time to go to the dentist?
Why did the Buddhist refuse to have an anesthetic injection when he was going for a filling?
He wanted to transcend dental medication.
What do dentists and the TSA have in common?
What did one tooth say to the other tooth?
Get your cap on! The dentist is taking us out tonight!