There is a small demographic in society that is constantly overlooked. This group is vertically challenged and can easily go unnoticed especially if your vision is not lowered. Yes, we’re talking about midgets, dwarfs and generally short people. It’s time to give these pocket size humans the attention and recognition they deserve. What better way to accomplish this goal than by humor?
We’ve searched high and low (mostly low) for these Top 100 jokes and memes. We’re sure you’ll enjoy them if not a lot, then at least a little.
*** IMPORTANT: Discrimination toward people may create significant consequences for their well-being – the jokes on this page are meant to be in good fun – please always remain respectful ***
How did the midget refer to his mother? He said she was his minimum.
Why did the midget waiter get fined by the IRS? They discovered the restaurant always paid under him the table.
When midgets talk about their childhood, why do they still say “When I was little”?
Why did the guy fail at flirting with the midget girl? He asked her if she was tall enough to ride his yoyo.
One day I saw a midget waiting for the bus “Hope inside and I’ll take you home” I said. “Screw you!” he screamed. “What an unappreciative little man” I thought as I re-closed my purse and kept walking.
What is it called when a little person is waving his hand? A microwave.
Where can you find midgets surfing? On microwaves.
Why wasn’t the short guy hired to work as a waiter at the nudist colony? The manager told him that they couldn’t risk him poking his nose into other people’s private business.
Why are midgets so knowledgeable? They can always tell you what what is up.
She swore she would never go out with a midget again. There was too much they didn’t see eye to eye.
Why did the midget’s co-worker accuse him of sexual harassment? Everyday he came up to her and told her how he enjoyed the smell of her hair.
Why were the diners upset at the midget burger joint? All the orders were late because the restaurant was short staffed.
Why do so many girls like to flirt with midgets? They’re so good at small talk.
A witness reported seeing the midget criminal climb down the prison wall. He said it was a little con descending.
What made the butcher not hire the midget? The steaks were too high.
What did the doctor say to the nervous midget in the emergency room? Please calm down, you need to be a little patient.
Everyday, his parents would call him little. Whenever he came home they said, “Oh no, another ant!”
If a midget does drugs will they get high or only reach medium?
The comedian knew a bunch of midget jokes. They were all hilariously short.
Why was the wife fed up with her dwarf husband? He would always put off doing chores by saying that he’ll get to it shortly.
Short person’s mantra: “God allows everything to grow until it’s flawless. For us, it takes less time!”
Did you hear the eulogy about the dead dwarf? It said he took much viagra and now’s he’s a little stiff.
Why did the midgets decide to create a dwarf convention? They wanted to have a little get together.
HOW SHORT ARE YOU? DON’T WORRY, WE’LL TELL YOU!
You are so short that there’s always a job waiting for you in Santa’s workshop.
You are so short that we can see what shoes you’re wearing on your driver’s license photo.
You are so short that you do can do jumping jacks under your bed.
You are so short that you when fell from the curb, the paramedics thought that you wouldn’t survive.
You are so short that when someone dropped a penny, you need to use a step stool to pick it up.
You are so short that you can do sit ups underneath a closed door.
You are so short that you train for marathons by running around the toilet.
You are so short that when you sit on the curb you need a firetruck ladder to get down.
You are so short that the shower water turns cold before it touches your body.
What do midgets use to make calls? A MICROphone.
The teacher chastised the student for telling a midget joke and the parents said luckily it was over something small.
How do you know if a midget has groped you? You’ll feel a short squeeze on your ankle.
What did they call the overweight midget worker at the dairy farm? Low fat.
So did you understand the You are so short jokes or are you a little slow?
Here’s some more to enjoy!:
You are so short that each time you sneeze, you bang your forehead on the floor.
You’re so short that you can use a toothpick to pole dance.
You are so short that the first home your brought was Barbie’s Dreamhouse.
You are so short and an outcast that people look down on you figuratively and literally.
You are so short that an artist used just one can of Play Dough to make your life-size sculpture.
You are so short that when fight, you stand on your toes and punch people in the ankle.
You are so short that you can wear you toddler’s hand me downs.
You are so short that you can do pull ups under the kitchen sink.
You are so short that you need a latter to get on the toilet.
A Disney study confirmed that 1 out of 7 dwarfs is grumpy.
One day I accidentally bumped into a midget.
Me: “Are you alright?”
Midget: “I’m not happy.”
Me: “I’m Sorry. By the way, how’s Snow White?
How do you make a midget freak out? Give them a yoyo.
Why can’t midgets afford to invite people over for dinner? They always have difficulty putting food on the table.
I have a great deal of respect for all the short people in see in public. I would never look down on them.
Why was the midget prostitute so successful? She could stand while giving oral sex.
What did they call the dwarf baby who was born from precum? “Half Nut”
What made the man hit the dwarf? The dwarf her hair was well groomed.
Why are midgets on average dehydrated? Drinking fountains are beyond their reach.
I had midget neighbor who didn’t speak much. I suppose she didn’t care for small talk.
Some have theorized that the problem with dwarfism continues to grow.
What’s the best way to relate to a midget? Just bring yourself down to their level.
What did the angry wife say to her midget husband when she touched her knee? “I’ve had it up to here with you!”
What do you call a fortune telling midget who is on the run from the police? A small medium at large.
What’s it called when a transgender dwarf has sex? A microtransaction.
What did the Japanese midget scream when she saw the iguana? Godzilla!
Why the midget have a miserable honeymoon. He couldn’t reach the carpet.
What is the best place for a midget to sit at a concert? On someone’s lap.
Are dwarf and midget jokes cruel? Yes, but they’re also a little funny.
What robot movie is a favorite of most midgets love? Short Circuit.
Why didn’t the midget like to use a tampon? She was always tripping over the string.
How do you tell the difference between a midget and a dwarf? You can’t, the difference is very little.
Why did the midget always walk with a toddler? To make him look bigger.
Did you hear about the bipolar midget? People say he had a short fuse.
