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Top 100 Funny Jokes for 5-Year-Old Kids

two 5-year old children laughing

We searched the internet for the best jokes designed for your kiddos and then we tested them on a whole team of 5-year-olds! We have compiled a list of their favorites. These are sure to make your 5-year-old cackle! We are only sorry that they’ll be driving you crazy repeating them for days on end!

What kind of noise does a witch’s car make when it starts?

Image of balloons.
Text says: Which genre of music is hated by balloons? Pop music

If your 5-year old knows about “Why did the chicken cross the road jokes…”:
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because the chicken wasn’t even born yet.

What was the Mommy Tomato saying to the Baby Tomato who is not walking fast enough?
C’mon, Ketchup!

What do you call a man laying on the floor?

Image of surprised dog
Text says: What happened when the dog accidentally sat on sandpaper? He said Ow Ruff!

What is the name for a fly with no wings?
A walk.

elephant hiding on a tree joke

Why is it so hard for the leopard to hide?
He is easily spotted.

What happens when you make a strawberry sad?
It becomes a blueberry.

dino-snore joke

Why are the tomato’s cheeks blushing?
Because it saw the salad dressing!

Why was the golfer wearing two pairs of pants at the same time?
He was hoping to get a hole in one.

don't ask meow this happened to me joke

What is dangerous about playing cards in the jungle?
There are so many cheetahs!

Giraffes have very long, looooong necks: why?
So their face is far away from their really smelly feet.

What kind of eggs does an evil chicken lay?
Deviled eggs

cat's favorite food joke

Why did the skeleton decided to stay home & not go to the movies?
Because he had “no body” that he could go with.

Why did the doctor go see the vampire?
Because he was always coffin.

Why is Cinderella really bad at sports?
She is always running away from a ball.

What is the name for two guy friends who really like math?

Why did the triangle give the circle a gift?
It felt sorry for the circle because it is pointless.

A Triceratops goes shopping for pants. But he doesn’t call them “pants”. What does he call them?

What is the easiest way to make an octopus laugh?
Give it ten-tickles.

Why did the magician buy a dog instead of a rabbit?
It was a labracadabrador.

Why did the elephant say that his opinion didn’t matter?
It was irrelephant.

What did the Mama cow shout to the calf when he got out of bed to get some water?
Its pasture bedtime!

Image of child spitting broccoli out.

Text says: What is the main difference between broccoli and boogers? Children will not eat broccoli.

What is the name of a skunk who can fly a helicopter?
A smelly-copter.

What is the reason birds fly south for the winter?
Well, it’s too far to walk!

Why did they find the baby in Egypt?
Apparently, it was looking for its mummy.

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A sand-witch.

Image of lightning storm
Text says: What do clouds wear underneath their raincoats? Thunderwear!

Why do sharks live in salt water?
Pepper makes them sneeze.

What was the reason the teddy bear didn’t want dessert?
He was already stuffed.

If all of the storybook princesses were to race, who would win?
Rapunzel, by a hair.

What do you name a man with a shovel?

spider joke

Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide!

What is the name for cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese.

What did the wall say to another wall?
I’ll meet you at the corner.

What do you call something brown and sticky?
A stick.


Why did the Cookie Monster go to the doctor after eating all the cookies?
He was feeling pretty crummy.

What did the Baby Corn say to the Mama Corn about why he was crying?
“I miss my Papa Corn!”

Why does that bear not wear any shoes?
He has bear feet.

Do you know the name for a cow who has no legs?
Ground beef!

What was the bananas reason for going to the doctor?
He wasn’t peeling well.

Why did the skeleton stay home from the dance?
He didn’t have any body to go with.

What do you call a toothless bear?
A gummy bear

piece of cake child joke

Why did Mickey Mouse become an astronaut?
He needed to find Pluto.

What makes the sound “tick, woof, tick, woof”?
A watch dog, of course.

What happens when you cross an elephant with a fish?
Swimming trunks.

What do bees use to brush their hair?

If “April showers bring May flowers”, what do Mayflowers bring?
Pilgrims. Lots of pilgrims.

Why did the artist’s painting go to jail?
It was framed!

Name something you can catch but not hold.
A cold.

How do you mend a pumpkin with a crack in it?
A pumpkin patch.

Why is the math book so upset?
It has way too many problems.

Where do cows go for a date on Friday nights?
They go to the moooooo-vies.

What is the name for a pig that knows karate?
Pork chop!

Where do hamburgers love to go dancing with each other?
The meat ball.

What is my cat’s favorite color?

Why is it dangerous to tell jokes when you’re ice skating?
You might make the ice crack up!

What is Olaf’s favorite thing to eat for lunch?

Why wasn’t the pony able to sing “Happy Birthday”?
She was just a little hoarse.

What is a frogs go-to order at a fast-food restaurant?
A large order of french flies.

What is the name for a huge pile of cats?
A meow-ntain.

Why did the boy throw his clock out of the window?
He was trying to see time fly.

Why did the shrimp not want to share his treasure with anyone?
Well, he is a little shellfish.

Why do mountains think they’re funny?
They don’t think it, they KNOW it. They’re hill areas.

Texts says: How do oceans and seas greet each other? They wave.

Image of large ocean wave.

What did the number zero say to the number eight?
Hey, nice belt!

Where do fish like to keep their money?
Deposited in a river bank.

What is the reason strings never win a race?
They are always in a tie.

What do witch’s love to study in school?

Why does that horse live next door to you?
He is my neighbor.

Why was there sugar on the man’s pillow?
He was hoping to have sweet dreams.

What is the snakes favorite subject in school?

What is the name for a cow that cannot moo?
A milk dud.

What do you call something that has a lot ears but can’t hear anything?
A corn field.

What kind of haircut does a bee get at the salon?
A buzzzzzcut.

Name something with 4 wheels and flies?
A garbage truck

What happens when you cross Frosty the Snowman and Dracula?

Why do pirates struggle to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C.

Why was the number 6 so scared of the number 7?
Because 7, 8, 9

What happens when a snail is crossed with a porcupine?
A slowpoke

Image is a dog in between stacks of pizza.
Text says: Would you like to hear a pizza joke? Nevermind its too cheesy.

What do you call a train with a cold?
Achoo-choo train.

What happens when you shake a cow?
Milk shake.

Whic animal is always present at a baseball game?

What’s the name for something that has hands but cannot clap?
A clock.

What do you call an alligator who wears a vest to work?
An investigator.

What makes a ghost a bad liar?
You can always see right through them.

What is the name for a fish with no eye?
A fsh.

Which animals wear wigs?
Bald eagles.

Do you know what toast wears to bed?

If a clock strikes 13, what time is it?
Time to get a new clock.

Why was the Nobel Prize given to the scarecrow?
He was out-standing in his field!

Do you know how to make a kleenex dance?
You just put a little boogie in it!

Why should you never let Elsa from “Frozen” hold your balloon?
She will “Let it go”!

What did the new snowman say to the other snowman?
“Do you smell carrots?”

What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Something between us really smells.

What do Santa’s elves learn at school?
The elf-abet.

What is the police word for a fake noodle?
An impasta!

What do you call a gorilla who has bananas in his ears?
Whatever you want. He can’t hear through the bananas.

What is the name for a frog that is illegally parked?

What did one plate say to the other plate when they sat at the table?
Dinner is on me.

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