Duck orders a martini
A duck orders a pond water martini. The Bartender says, “That’ll be $8.00.” The duck responds: “Just put it on my bill!”
Open
Duck wearing a tuxedo
A Duck wearing a tuxedo walks into a bar, orders a martini-shaken not stirred-the bartender asks his name. The duck answers “Pond, James Pond”.
Duck on a man’s head
A man walks into a bar with a duck on his head. The bartender says: “Excuse me Sir, but you seem to have a Duck on your head?”… The duck …
Duck wants some bread
A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender: “Do you have any bread?” The bartender responds: “No, we don’t.” The duck asks again: “Do you have any bread?”… …
Two ducks in a bar
Two ducks walked into a bar. You think the second one would have seen it!
The Arts
What is a Duck’s Second Favorite Ballet? Swan Lake– because they can dream can’t they?
What do you call a short Mexican?
A paragraph because they’re not full ese!!
Goblin
Friend A: I am going to be a goblin for halloween. Friend B: A goblin? Friend A: GOBLIN DEEZ NUTS